Kindred spirits - autistic, ADHD, AuDHD
Finding joy in connecting with similar neurologically wired brains
I made a leap of faith just over a year and a half ago to come out as autistic in my work and also to reshape my business so that I work exclusively with neurodivergent adults.
When I dial back to that time, I remember thinking - what if I have less client work? What if people believe the myth that autistic people can’t empathise? What if I want to take back the ‘coming out’ as it means I can’t earn a living?
I had these insecurities, but I also knew that neurodivergent people in therapy were struggling and I wanted to step up and offer a safe space where they would not need to educate their therapist in the basics of living neurodivergently in the world means. I reflected on this for some time and at the end of it knew it felt ethically right to join other autistic advocates in influencing the narrative around what it means to be autistic. I am indebted to writers such as Jackie Schuld, Kieran Rose and Sonny Jane Wise among many others. Anyway, roll forward to now and I cannot tell you how glad I am I made this decision. It is a decision that has reaped benefits in so, so many ways. It has ‘sped up’ the journey of acceptance in coming towards my own neurodivergent identity. It has meant that my learning curve about neurodivergence has continued its steep curve as I meet each neurodivergent person uniquely in their spiky profiles. It has also meant that not only am I role modelling to my clients in owning and being proud of my ND identity but also it means that I share this experience regularly with my family, with my boys who grow up in a new generation where (hopefully at some point) it will be acceptable to be autistic, ADHD or AuDHD.
“Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world”. Anne of Green Gables
(Image: My journal with vintage pictures of girls and swirly illustrations with quote from Anne of Green Gables)
Another part of this that I reflect on is the theme of kindred spirits. While I connect with my clients in a myriad of ways, this is my work and I need to find kindred spirit ND people in my personal life. It’s tricky really, because I also find it difficult to make friends and break out of my routines… I also get really easily burned out by open-ended socialising.
Recently, I’ve realised that friendship or social connection within structure might be a good way ahead for me. And so I am reaching out to ND people within my local therapeutic community. This is feeling good. It’s got real possibility in it.
If you would like to build new neurodivergent connections, here are some questions to reflect on:
Where can you find possible structures in which you can connect with others?
Would you prefer structured friendship meetups rather than open-ended socialising? If so, how could that look for you?
Would you consider using an app like Spoony to make new ND friends?
What groups are in your local area where you might be more likely to meet ND people?